Monday, July 27, 2009
... friends come calling!!
It has been a busy day trying to catch up on light household duties and feeling like a useful part of the family.... I am sore - feel like some parts are falling off and frustrated by the limitations set up by an inability to lift more than 5 pounds.... makes doing laundry interesting. I stand at the top of the stairs and kick all the sorted laundry down the stairs and manage to catch up with it in the laundry room. Then back up I go to repeat at least twice more... whites, colors and darks... and yes I do separate them!!
Annette calls in the mid-morning and we chat for a few minutes. No, the results are not in yet, but soon. I have an appointment with the surgeon for the 6th of August and so now we wait for both!! She rocks!!
Emails and phone calls from friends far away bring such joy and a great break in my day as I lay across my bed and chat with Debbie in Ottawa!! Wow, how long has it been girl... she is cut from the same cloth and I wonder which one of us was adopted - we both laugh. I miss her quick humor and sharp wit... we catch-up and talk about everything - 'how were your holidays?' I ask. We had talked before she left but she was unable to contact me while she was away - you could tell she was worried.... it comes from a lifetime of friendship. She promises to see me as soon as she can get out 'I love you girl' I say before we hang up and she replies with an 'I love you too.... see you'
I make my way over to Brenda M.'s house and she is reading a book on her deck. I quickly remind her that we will drop in to get our nails done. She decides when we are on our way that she would like to try a pedicure and I sit and wait while she gets her feet into the spa chair. She has never had one and we laugh and talk while she enjoys the experience. I can't get my nails done today - not enough time and the shop is busy. I book for tomorrow morning and we leave the shop on our way to purchase movie tickets next door. Uncle Paul has not seen the new 3D movies and so I purchase tickets for Tuesday night for G-Force. I can feel the fatigue start to pull at me and am grateful that Brenda has taken the vehicle... even if we are in walking distance...... *sigh* that will soon go, I think as I sink into the passenger seat. Even wearing the seat belt is uncomfortable and I am consciously aware of the material digging into the wounds and find myself easing my hand to cup under my breast and relieve the ache that has once again kicked up today.
Eryn and I go to pick up Lydia from Day Camp early because we have a dinner engagement with Kelly and her family for 5:30. Lydia dives into the arms of her big brother's girlfriend and gives me gentle hugs, always mindful of my restrictions... she sometimes draws her finger gently across my breast and will quietly say to me 'Oh, this is the one'. She never fails to bring an easy grin on my face. I love her so much and hope that this is the one thing she will never inherit from me. She is complaining that her side hurts.... it's been a few days and despite the fact that I think she is constipated I make the call to her Pediatrician - can never be too careful. She is excited to be home early and runs to see the progress that Uncle Paul, William and Mitchel have made with the construction of the pond. Lydia jumps down to the bottom and we can see that it is better than 4 feet deep.
We are home a few minutes when I see Brenda A.'s van pull up. I have not seen her in quite some time... it is summer, and when she is not working, she is constantly on the run making sure her family is well taken care of. We have been through a lot together and I squeeze her without hurting either of us. She has brought a bowl of blueberries that her and the twins have picked on their way back from camping. We devour them like we have not eaten all day and Lydia is amazed at how good they are.... oh dear, Max will never get to know how good they really were... oh, well... maybe next time. Brenda has the heart of a mountain and rarely offers up how she is doing but I know her well and when asked the right questions she lets me know that her sister's baby is not going to survive when she is born - no skull to cover her brain.... she is picking out a coffin to await the moment when her first child will occupy it for eternity. The saying 'it could always be worse' whispers in my brain and I feel a deep sorrow for them. Brenda's husband is ill and is getting progressively worse. She is the only wage earner and does the best she can. She is one of my unsung heros. She is thoughtful and lovely and always puts others before her. I have a spa day for us .... just need to book it and get her in but I have not felt like it - she needs some TLC but never says anything. I love you Brenda and thank you for dropping in, in your busy schedule.... I will be booking that morning for us as soon as I can get an opening. She is on her way down the driveway and our friend Richard is walking up with a single pink Gerber daisy in his hand.... I let him know that I will be right with him. I see Brenda to her van and hold her close. Thanks for coming girl and yes I will call you soon.
Richard looks great... not really any time I can remember him not looking that way. He looks uncomfortable - so not in keeping with our usual flirtatious banter. I am really tired by now and looking like something that the cat coughed up. I still can't wear my bra and so the ensemble I am wearing hides any obvious view of my breasts... He hesitates to hug me... most people do out of fear of eliciting pain. No worries, I just stepped on the cat behind me and wrenched my arm upwards in response - the pain rips through my arm and deep into my chest and I catch my breath.... without trying to make a sound. Max is worried - he can see the pain etched in my now sweaty brow. I am ordered to sit down. I feel bad and look just as bad - gee, I hope you come back and visit the hag really soon!! The flower was lovely - please know, that I have not changed... still the crazy chick in here and I try to assure him of this but the fatigue and pain are not helping in my bid. The kids are hungry and we are going to be late for dinner. Max walks Richard down the drive and mentions that he has not been golfing at all this summer - I beg him to take Max. My husband needs to get away and do something 'normal' for a change. We wave good bye and we are now on our way....
We have been invited out to Kelly's house for dinner and I am looking forward to some down time with her, Michael and Corbin. The clouds are scurrying fast as she wipes the last of the puddles off the table, chairs and BBQ. Warm hugs and hellos for everyone and an introduction to Uncle Paul. Miss Lydia is anxious to assist in delivering to the table what is obviously a great deal of thought and energy that Kelly has put into this mid-summer feast. We have been friends for more than a decade and with her departure from my work years ago to pursue another career... I miss her dearly, would be an understatement. She is elegant, warm-hearted and can easily find the fun in any situation - we laugh at her quippy comments through our casual conversations. She has a knack for narration that captivates her guests. Dinner goes far too fast and the sun dips beneath the low-lying clouds... time to go.... 'Already?' says Kelly. We get up to leave and the hugs and kisses start as we make our way down the driveway. We are momentarily distracted by the workmanship of the steps and the collective agrees... not so great but hey, it could always be worse... another chuckle, more hugs and kisses all around. Even Uncle Paul got a hug - he did cook the burgers, after all!! See you soon.
Home.... even though I am tired, I am not ready for bed... I had gone to bed far too early last night and spent more energy twisting the sheets than getting sleep after about 2 am. I refused to get up for fear I would not go back down. I had spent a few minutes chatting with Theresa earlier in the afternoon when she dropped Olivia off for a visit with Lydia. Lydia really needed a friend yesterday when I could not play with her because of a constant feeling of nausea throughout the day. Theresa is recovering from breast cancer and is in the tail end of chemo. Her hair has grown in tiny little curls crowning her beautiful round head despite the fact that she is still doing treatments. Her daughters are insightful for such young ladies and well spoken. You can tell that their Mom has lead them through her journey and has done an incredible job. I just wish I was having a better day - some days are like that. Come back another day I say as I take down her information........
I am grateful for all my friends like Ron who has been there texting me on Facebook all these months and supporting me from his home in Ottawa - you make me laugh when I feel like crying. You were one of the first people I told when this journey began. Mark S. is another rare human who has been so supportive and his brand of humor and concern has given me laughter and hugs when my tears threatened to overtake me. He was there from the beginning and spent time letting me hide when the tears did fall. My co-workers who have been there in their constant support - I know you are all there poling for me. Sara who gets me and knows that our friendship grows with each day - I miss you so much and will miss you more in the fall when I will not be working with you. You are always brave and know just how to say the things that need to be said.... you are a rock and you totally rock!!! Elaine - thank you for the fruit basket.... it worked better than the meds :)..... I am looking forward to chatting over tea.... what form do I need to fill out again? Brenda A. - this is not the time to wonder off.... OK when you are finished camping season, by all means be here to help me can my garden!! Brenda B. and Terry - you two are always welcome to drop by... can you believe that the Gerber daisies you gave me are still alive!! At least they still look that way :)...... Wishing Norm and Melissa a long, prosperous and healthy marriage.......... and that my friends is all I have the energy for today. xoxoxoxoxoxox