Western education 2013

Friday, May 11, 2012

peace and quiet....

....rein in my life since I walked away from the drama of the past few months. My blood pressure is back to normal and I am really beginning to enjoy each day as it comes..... This is week one of putting Dad to bed at night in his long-term care home. He only needs gentle prompting to accomplish his daily cleaning ritual. If left alone on his own, he will not remember to brush his teeth or to wash himself properly, if at all. He is always up for some laughs and I love his sense of humor. Some days he is more lucid than others and I am now able to tell when he has been given his meds....he tends to have a faraway look in his crystal blue eyes so that they almost look hazy themselves. I am gentle and soft spoken with him at bedtime just as I was for my own children. I will ask Lydia tomorrow to see if she has a bigger stuffed animal that Dad can have to cuddle with at bedtime. He loves to hold hands and especially at bed time. He gently rubs my fingers between his as his eyelids droop, and just as a child, they pop open long enough for him to share another thought and then droop deeper as sleep takes him over. The foot and hand massage have worked their magic as his chest rises slower and deeper. I kiss his forehead and tell him that I love him. Good night Dad, sleep well. He is so tired after the birthday celebration earlier at my house. Mom has turned 79. Mom has had a whirlwind of a day on her special day. It started out at the chiropractor, then to the nail salon for a manicure/pedicure and finally a Chinese food dinner hosted at my house complete with a slice of ice-cream cake. I took out a few minutes in the evening to check out the new room she is moving into. It is a studio apartment with enough room we hope to accommodate most of her stuff. We will have to be creative when putting it together so that it does not look congested. I am making a scaled chart of her room and after measuring all the pieces of her furniture, should be able to come up with a gameplay for the movers tomorrow morning. Thank you to Sarah today for bringing a card and gift to celebrate Mom's and my birthdays. She is always so incredibly thoughtful and loving. Payton is her adorable daughter whose quick grin and curiosity are always a source of joy and entertainment. We are blessed to have such incredible people in our world. I love you so much!!! ....yes, life is back to it's casual easy flow without the drama. I am loving the new team with such an amazing coach!! He is respectful of all the members and has the patience of a saint. I would likely paddle to hell and back for this quietly confident but humble leader. His agenda is simple - enjoy the sport and each other. I respect a coach whose agenda is not self-serving or controlling. Speaking of controlling - there is something very liberating about un-friending someone who causes you so much grief and anxiety. I have taken back my power and will not be so careless about giving it away any time soon or ever at all. I am enjoying my family here without the interfering nonsense of someone who spends her life finding fault with everyone around her and justifying her behavior. The psychiatrists call it aggressive manipulation with a twist of narcissism. I call it annoying and unwelcome. Either way, my life is great and I am much happier without the constant harrassment. Max sold his bike and was completely miserable. He wanted to help pay off his loans but I could see what it meant to him to have the one toy he had always wanted. Yes Max, your wife loves you and despite the fact that I always worry about you, your happiness is so much more important. Yesterday evening when I came home, I couldn't wait to have you show off your new bike. It really is a beaut!! It is so great seeing you smile ear to ear again!!! Enjoy your toy!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

.....moving forward...

Max and I have waited anxiously for today to come. After being seen by an ears, nose and throat specialist, it appears that for the past 45 years, he has had a disfigured nasal passage which has caused endless infections, pain and of course since my own cancer diagnosis....a deep seated fear of cancer. We always fear what we do not know and often when we face our fears, they are usually not as bad as we imagine them to be. We are both thrilled at the outcome. His surgery will take place in the late fall.

Today I took Mom to our Chiropractic appointment. We went shopping and a quick lunch....where did the time go? I found a beautiful dress and almost cried when I put it on and caught my reflection in the mirror. Mom came to the fitting room and commented on how beautiful I looked in it. I will forever savor these moments spent with my Mom. I am truly grateful that she and my Dad are here close by. Life is totally amazing!!! I actually have decided that I love shopping and that we both have the same taste in clothing. There have been a number of times when Mom and I just find ourselves giggling like teenagers trying on rings. We find ourselves in the right place at the right time for chance meetings with my friends or fantastic sales. My friends all hug her when they meet her and share stories about why they like me.....usually the ones about my zaninessl!!! My daughter and I are developing a closer bond. She loves to have coffee with me and lately, we have been spending our time together coloring, reading, chatting or just hanging out. It doesn't get much better than this!!

This summer we are planning a train trip with the kids. Nothing is firm yet but we all need to just get away and play. I will be doing some scheduled care for my Dad in hopes that he wil fall into a predictable pattern. I have a care kit that I have at the ready for evening visits. We had to purchase a shaver for him and tomorrow we will find a hamper. Sending out the love.