Monday, September 28, 2009
..... generous souls in a humbling journey
.... today started as slowly as most have these days and go faster than a super train to Osaka for morning rush after breakfast....
I occupy my days by getting up after restless nights feeling slower than molasses in January. My feet feel like blocks of concrete and I know that there is a depression tugging at me which I refuse to give into no matter what!! I have a routine starting to take shape and look forward to seeing the children off to school so that I can tidy up, get the pets looked after and make plans to do the simple tasks - too many restrictions to even start a painting project... I have a gallon that needs to migrate from the can to my bedroom walls. I am winded most days and recovering from a urinary tract infection and of course my second finger infection. Even a hang nail on the side that has no lymph nodes can cause a trip to the hospital if I am not on it right away. Amazing what you take for granted!! I can manage to move my arm most of the way up but find that it catches when I try to reach behind.... stubbornness has won me more mobility than they thought possible in the time since surgery - some never get their full mobility back ever. Remember to always move, move, move. Reading and crosswords occupy me during the waiting times in between the medical appointments and the appointments I now have with Wellspring.....
Wellspring is a wonderful break in a crazy cancer life. Thanks to the generosity of others with donations and fundraising in the form of a walk. Thanks to Cheryl Weedmark for your involvement and your personal support of me as a friend, and the kindness of the volunteers that provide company and tea that I am able to attend a Yoga class once a week. I had my first session on Thursday and found the ladies and the Yoga instructor open and welcoming. I was able to feel like I was in touch with myself and honestly I could feel that depression flit away with the clouds. Getting out is very important for mental and physical health!! Today, my two youngest children were able to get together with an Art Therapist at the center while I tucked myself into a wing back chair in the hallway. I was doing crossword puzzles while listening to my very animated 7 year old and a barely perceptible older brother. The therapist seemed quite entertained with Miss Lydia and took her time getting to know them while making 'shrinkie-dink' hearts for mommy. The children also made something less sappy for Daddy.... this evening we are wearing the beautiful necklaces they integrated their artwork into. I now have three to showcase from my children and like my wedding rings - I keep them on me. It is so important to take care of my children and my loving husband.
My husband works for a graphics and signage business owned by a couple whose love of life and laughter show their love and appreciation through their kind and often generous gestures.... it is hard not to tear up when talking to Glen on the phone this evening - he and Kathi are humble people who are not looking for recognition but honestly when you donate a sign to the Breast Screening Unit on Talbot St. in my husband and mine's honor.... well, it's hard to not want to let my friends know how deeply and sincerely touched we are. So, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for thinking of us through our journey and thank you to the talent at Signature Graphics on Exeter Rd for your effort and look forward to seeing the new sign soon!!
The rest of this week will be filled with trips to the library, Yoga and a lymphatic massage with Sue. I am not thinking of next week when I will walk through the doors for the first time at the Cancer Center on Commissioners Rd. I will take one day at a time and enjoy the moments I have shared with friends like Sandra and Joel who came for dinner on Saturday and shared wine and laughter and hugs. Thank you for always being there for us - Super Max is truly in awe of your ability to laugh and make others do so as well. I wrote Joel's mother who was thoughtful in sending the lovely roses in a brandy snifter that she grew in her garden. So many people who have shown me their generous souls have humbled me. I will have coffee with a breast cancer survivor on Thursday who I met at a photo shoot and whose gentle blue eyes, sweet smile and kind words have started a friendship. Thanks to Brenda for joining me at my house for coffee this afternoon and your wonderful words of wisdom!!
Thank you all so much for this incredible week and the one that is just starting. xoxox