Thursday, February 18, 2010
...... round 6 week 2
.... a week that has begun with fatigue and a chronic lack of sleep....
Thursday 18th February
Today I am seriously tired and pull myself out of bed to take a shower. I can hear the radio as I towel off and realize that the news of a halt to the nurses layoff might mitigate some phone calls with requests for more interviews, and within minutes, the phone rings and the first request is for one live to happen just after 9 with Derek. I know Derek and try to answer his pointed questions with a foggy brain... I get off the phone and pray I didn't come across as some babbling idiot!! The phone rings within minutes of hanging up and Shauna wants to do a follow-up from the show we did the other day..... I really want to - more like need to go to Wellspring to get in a session of Yoga in but her show starts at the same time. No worries, I agree to do the interview on my cell from Wellspring.... there is a quiet nook at the back of the facility and I fight off the urge to lay down on the soft couch. Yoga is so good for the soul and my spirits are lifted by the hugs Valerie offers as I join the group in session. I stay for tea afterwards and the girls are so fun to talk to. They have copied down the link to the petition and promise to sign it..... the numbers are now 2472 and climbing by the minute!!!! This is just day 4.
I arrive home after grabbing a quick bite from McDonald's (I know - bad, bad .... super bad) to find a message on the answering machine. Derek wants to do a follow up interview with the announcement that the layoffs have been suspended with hopes that alternatives can be found. Do I think I was manipulated? I think the announcements were made so close to the Olympic fever and the Family Day holiday weekend that I think that would have been a terrible risk. The fact that it was started by a cancer patient.... who knows.... sometimes it doesn't really matter how things got started, the fact that they are and that people are becoming aware and are contributing are important.
The outcome is essentially what I am looking for - to make common sense cuts to a system that needs to be audited by an accredited and uninvolved third party. The people who have mismanaged funds need to be held accountable and positions need to be eliminated that generate no value to the patients health/healthcare.
The afternoon nap is elusive again today. It is a small price to pay. This afternoon, I will be taking my children to Art Therapy....... all three could use some time with Wanda and I could use a nap..... falling asleep in a wingback is not the most comfortable but the rest helped.
Monday 22 February 2010
Happy Birthday Ameeta!! Sending love and hugs your way. I am feeling like I got hit by a truck. The past few days have come with the worst head spins I have ever had unless you count the times in the far past that I have suffered from Vertigo. I would say that having head spins while attempting to roll over and get comfortable is just downright panicky. Max went to the drug store last night and picked up a standing prescription for a very powerful antibiotic. I am sure that the bowel infection is back.... the blood would be a good indicator that things are not well. I have tried eating as much high protein foods as possible to build up the red blood cells which are also low.... the belly bloat is still there but not nearly as uncomfortable. I am now drinking 4 Litres of water a day and an 8oz glass of prune juice each day. Today is day 13 in the cycle ..... grateful this is the last one.
I have been interviewed by a UWO student and sent him off some pictures to be included in his article.... I was incredibly tired this morning and found myself being overly chatty.... I tried to lay down in the afternoon but no success.... not sure how much sleep I got last night but it wasn't much in between head spins and sweats. I enjoy watching the olympic curling so much... I used to curl when I lived up north and did well in competitions... I will have to look into pursuing that next year when I have cleared my schedule. Tonight is ice skating pairs... magic.
Max is busy marking projects tonight and I am doing research. I am a guest on a debate panel with regards to the hospital petition that I started and those that are the decision makers....
Tuesday 23 February
Still not feeling well... sweating like mad and still getting the horrible head spins when laying down and just turning my head.... yikes.
I did go to Art today and enjoyed chatting with the girls. One of them works for a local paper which had printed my letter to the editor to get the word out and the link for the petition. The petition numbers are now over 5,000 and growing and the one facebook group is at the 5,500 mark.
Andrea called in the morning to see if we could do lunch but I was unable to as I had a meeting after the Art class.... so she made an extra special trip on her way back from getting her working Visa for the states to see me later in the afternoon. You look great girl and I am so proud of you for following your dream and being true to yourself. I love you and I will miss you sooooooo much!! xoxo
Thursday 24th February
I need to go downtown to attend a board meeting and drive around downtown looking for a parking space and realize that I have no money to feed the meters so I drive down to the William's coffee shop looking for an open meter with time still left but there are only two spaces and I pull into the closest one thinking that I will just have to incur a ticket but lo and behold, the meter I am parked in front of says 'fail'..... if that isn't a sign or what. I head off in the direction of the LHIN offices but instead find myself going into the wrong building and having to walk around two ladies smoking in front of the entrance doors.... I can't breathe and my legs pain me so much. I point out the sign on the door that clearly states 'do not smoke within 30 feet of this entrance'. I manage to cross the street in pain and clearly winded when I hear a F$%#k off from one of the ladies after she manages to cough out a lung..... I also get the finger to go along with the insult. I had a polite retort but she is very brave now as she paces back and forth.... I don't have time for this idiocy and spin around to find the building I am looking for with just minutes to spare...
Today I will find myself at the LHIN offices in my bid to be heard by the board of Directors... so unfortunate that I was unable to - there are procedures for getting heard.... I need to be a delegate and ask to be put on the agenda. I will apply and make plans to return again soon. One thing that really struck me and ticked me off was the one Director (Barrie) came in 10 minutes late and sauntered over to the table.... this after two issues had already been tabled and voted on. Mr. Barrett came over to me to discuss becoming a delegate and gave me his business card. No worries, I will be back. Rogers TV was there in anticipation that I would be heard and so a short interview in the lobby and I make my way home.... I am exhausted after only walking a few blocks.
Friday 25th February
I am off to meet a new gal Kaz who did the photo shoot with me last summer... only our paths crossed quickly. I am going for lunch with her and as we sit and I listen to her cancer journey I realize I am talking to someone who is just as outgoing, candid and fun-loving. We talk for hours and I have promised to come pick her up on Tuesday to go to Art and introduce her to Wellspring.
I am too tired to do anything else and lay back for the remainder of the afternoon. I am not sleeping and that combined with the leg swelling and dizzy spells ...... I am praying this ends soon - I have had enough of feeling crappy.
Saturday 26th February
I am up again all night and have no more tears to give regardless of how frustrated I am with the lack of sleep, muscle ache and overall malaise. I will lay down on the couch to try and get some rest.... and then spend the rest of the day lounging in an achey kind of way.
Sarah comes over in the evening with a box of chocolates which are lovely but will add another layer of chunk to a body that has been steadily gaining weight because of meds and chemo.... looking forward to the gym when this process is over so that I can begin the process of strengthening my body and my mind. I have been fighting off a mild depression for months now off and on and pray that the spring comes soon. Thanks so much for the visit! Love you so much.