Keeping on....

..... and staying busy with our urban garden.  It is soothing to the soul when I look out the window in the morning and see the garden.  It gives me something to do and a goal to achieve each day....it is my therapy.  I have been asked a few times if I would like to speak to a therapist.  Its not for me and I just don't see how a therapist can help other than listen to me feel sorry for myself or dredge up old wounds in an effort to locate my spirituality by a perfect stranger?  This approach to healing is not helpful to me.  I am a doer and someone who constantly seeks out things to keep me occupied.  I remember being a student in class as a child who would often find myself staring out the window, or God forbid,  standing at the window and risking the wrath of the teacher. My therapy is digging in dirt and watching the plants grow.  My passion for teaching and learning inspires me to always do something each day that brings me joy.

I just have to learn not to tackle everything at once.... like today when my side began to hurt when I lifted the laundry basket and realized too late that I would be in pain for a few hours afterwards.  Note to self - stop trying to do too much.  I suppose there are days when I am in a hurry to get everything done....lest I leave something undone.  

I am in the process of writing my own Will, only it seems to be taking forever....just like all the other mundane things I'd rather not think about.  I don't want to do laundry but yet take pleasure in hanging it out to dry like today.  I don't want to clean my house but it looks better when I do and makes me feel like I am contributing.  I don't want to clean my room.....so I don't.... lol.  Well, who does???  

Today I am feeling the pain of kneeling for days trying to put the small pavers into the pathways through the garden.  I noticed some swelling in the knees, fingers and ankles.... and now I really do need to slow down and rest.  I am feeling OK most of the time but I get to the point where I exhaust myself puttering around.  Max tries to quell my need to keep busy but to no avail.  I am stubborn and ridiculously stupid at times.

Today Max and some of the neighbors really tried hard to break down the huge chunk of concrete that is left from the basket ball pole removal.  Only this concrete seems  to be from Superman's home planet... hours later, only 4 inches has been removed from the top and from what we can see, it is low enough to leave the remaining concrete while the new concrete front walk is poured.  I am looking forward to seeing the new walkway and eventually a new railing for the front steps.  I get to watch all of this from my little bistro set now sitting in my front lawn.

It is my new oasis in the late afternoon when I can enjoy the garden from a shady spot and wave to the neighbors as they drive by.  A number of people have driven by and admired the gardens.  Some drive by slowly and gape.  I am sure some people think we have lost our minds while others think its about time someone shook things up!!!  I must admit that it doesn't matter to us either way, although we like it when people appreciate what we are doing.

May 17th.... it is a regular Saturday and I am heading out in the afternoon to go shopping with Sarah and Lydia.  I thought it was odd that we were going out so late in the afternoon but Sarah has the two little ones and naps are always a consideration.  At 3, Sarah arrives with baby Rowan and the four of us head out to the local hardware store and Loblaw to look at plants and pots.  We end up at Jysk and purchase a pot for Max to grow his herbs.  Its getting on past 5 and we head back to the house.  Max greets us at the front and I give him the new pot.  He tells me he has something for me and covers my eyes as he leads me into the back yard.  I am thinking he has bought me another tree but when he turns me about to face the back deck and open my eyes..... my jaw drops as 40 people break out in Surprise!!!  Happy Birthday!!!!  WOW, I really really did make it to 50 and here were all the people I adore minus a few who couldn't make it.  Some changed their schedule to be with me on this occasion.  How lucky am I!!!!!

I think of Melina most every day and know how blessed I am to still be here with my family and doing the things I truly love to do.  How lucky am I to be teaching and living my life in such a wonderful way.  How fortunate for the family I have and for all the love they shower me with every day.  I am truly a very fortunate woman.  Living life beyond expectation and taking every day as it comes.  I am happy and deeply grateful.  Today I feel better than yesterday.  The pain only worsens when I lift anything heavy or do too much extreme puttering... Max says I should learn to pace myself and I think that I am in a hurry to get things done just in the event my health takes a turn for the worse.  I am learning to sip my tea while sitting down and appreciating the painless sleep I get when I finally turn in for bed.  

Tonight I had to laugh.... Max is but a few feet from a rabbit in our backyard and we have 3 pets lounging on the deck just watching the rabbit hop around.....no wonder we can't grow things in our backyard without fencing.  I am watching her bring bedding to a new location in the mass of perennial geraniums in the far corner of the yard.  

Today was a gorgeous day - hot and humid with sunshine.... this evening is lovely and warm.  After such a long hard winter, this is truly a blessing.  I rarely will complain about the heat again.  The pool heater on the roof has heated our pool up to 72 degrees.  Warm enough for Lydia to start swimming every day....me I like 80 plus!!  The birds are singing in the light evening winds as the clouds form above us.  It will surely rain tonight and refill the two 220L rain barrels that I just emptied into the fish pond tonight and the garden this morning.  I purchased a little pony pump to bring up the water pressure in order to get the water where I need it.  The pool is surrounded by greenery and blooms from the King Bleeding Heat, Hereboras, Columbine,  iris, geraniums, Iris, lilac, Solomon's Seal, and soon the peonies, snowball bush, roses and sunflowers.