....... after the crazy day yesterday.
Thanks to Mary for the lovely flowers and our early morning breakfast out on the back deck on a lovely sunny morning. The breeze is refreshing after a horribly hot couple of weeks. Its good to see her and I wished we had more time as I realized how quickly the time passed. I have a date with the summer program at a local public school at 10:30 as a guest and when I look at the time, I realize that it is now 10:15. I will be reading a few books to the 6-8 year olds and Sarah has assured her coordinator that the kids will be fine with me. Sarah should know, there were many times when she sat with my own small children when I read them bedtime stories.
I brought Lydia with me and she read a story to the kids called the 'Grumpy Bear'. I liked watching her confidence as she told the story. A young fellow had begun removing books from my satchel and was asking me to read some more books. I obliged his request and got the kids involved in the story. They were fun!! When I was done reading, a 4 year old girl from another group walked right up to me, shook my hand and said "Marita, you did a lovely job reading and thank you" and then proceeded to repeat this with Lydia. I would not have believed it if I had not seen the pull ups she was wearing!!! How wonderfully charming. The kids were polite and not one of them asked me about my hair or lack of it. They were more interested in hearing the animated storytelling and being able to be involved.
I spoke to Anna today and the tears fell as I tried to awkwardly tell her that I really did not know what to say to her.... what do you say to someone who loses the love of their life.... it won't be better, not by a long shot for a very long time. I told her I loved her and that she was in our thoughts... at least I think she heard that through trembling lips and coursing tears. Her new home has not brought her the things she hoped it would bring.... I am deeply sorry for your loss....
I am now completed two AQ courses and have done well despite the challenges the last two months have brought me. I have learned so much from the interactions with others in both of these online courses and I am glad I decided to pursue them. I have learned that when you follow your passions in life, it brings you so much joy. Being afraid to move forward and sticking with what you know, robs you of the joy you would get had you been brave enough to pursue a true vocation. Yes, bills have to be paid but life is too short to just think of it in terms of getting from point A to B with money to buy stuff you really don't need in order to live a life you don't enjoy. Max is truly getting used to having his days off and finding things to do that he forgot he wanted to do. He has fixed the pool cleaner (proud moment), cleaned out the garage, begun organizing his work area and friends are now asking him to create art for him. I am done my courses and am now beginning to sew things we needs at home. My course curriculum is almost done and we just need to produce the final projects. I am submitting my completed notebook next week just after my chemo treatment on Monday.
Monday..... whoo boy... not looking forward to another treatment now that I am feeling almost normal again!! My hair has not completely fallen out but it will eventually because of this lower dose chemo it will just take more time. I am still very tired in the late afternoon and keep busy so that I do not have to nap. The tips of my fingers feel weird along with the feet that now feel like wooden blocks. Such is life and I am glad for it.
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